When the Rules Don't Apply

We live in a relaxed culture, where rules and social norms are primarily applied to behavior on the roads and in public spaces. Most of us appreciate the freedom to express our individuality and creativity while driving on the correct side of the road.

During crises, such as pandemics, however, more rules are necessarily imposed.  Once China, an extremely restrictive culture, could no longer deny the reality of Covid-19, very stringent rules were established which quickly mitigated the spread of the disease.

Those of us in U.S. now have more rules than we’ve know. We must stay at home, keep our distance from almost everyone, avoid congregating, wear face masks in public, wash our hands religiously, and cover our mouths when we cough or sneeze. By and large we are compliant except for a few notable exceptions. These people are among the class of characters whose motto is: The Rules Don’t Apply to Me.

Lone Rangers

Elon Musk, self-styled entrepreneur and founder of Tesla, is one of most famous lone rangers. After the San Francisco Bay Area issued a shelter-in-place order and mandated all non-essential businesses to close, Musk kept his 10,000 employees tethered to his Tesla plant.

Musk apparently had convinced a local government lackey to grant him permission to continue building his luxury cars. How building cars (however ecologically sound) for rich people would be considered essential is baffling. Once the unhealthy working conditions and authoritarian internal memos were leaked, he was busted. 

On a much smaller scale, a neighborhood hair salon remained open many days after the order to close. The owner of the salon allegedly told the stylists and customers he had a “presidential pardon” to stay open as long as he staggered working hours of staff. Of course, this was nonsense and once social media got wind of his ruse, he shuttered the salon.

When I see teenagers and young adults not adhering to the distancing rule, I understand that their outsized need for socializing and their undersized prefrontal cortexes can be blamed. But what about adults who should know better? What’s their story?

Entitlement

Research suggests that an attitude of entitlement is fertile ground for rule breaking. Whenever we hear of the rich and powerful indicted for insider trading, sexual exploitation or other nefarious deeds, we collect more evidence to support the entitlement theory. 

On the other hand, the small-time hair salon owner who refused to close his shop or the miscreants who disobey speed limits and stop signs are likely not part of the infamous 1%. Perhaps entitlement is an attitude cultivated long before wealth is accumulated.

Cultural Differences

If we look at incarceration rates as well as traffic violations by gender, we can conclude that men, as a group, exhibit more rule-breaking behavior than women. Separating nature from nurture to explain behavior is always tricky business. Some researchers propose that men are socialized to play fast and loose with rules, while others believe that men are hard-wired to be impulsive and reckless, relegating rules to the category of mere suggestions.

According to research psychologist Michele Gefland, author of Rule Makers Rule Breakers, our societies and cultures are strong determinants of how likely we are to adhere to rules. When societies feel more threatened by external forces (wars, natural disasters, famine), they institute more rules.  

Gefland, notes, however, that attitudes within the same culture are not always consistent. For example, the reaction to real or imagined threat may result in a desire to impose rules and restrictions on those considered outsiders, while abandoning rules for everyone else.

Our American culture glorifies rule breaking. We are, in some ways, a nation built on and by rule breakers. The wild west mentality has shaped our ideas about rules; the gun-slinging cowboy, a fictional John Wayne character, is our hero. We may enjoy visiting tight cultures because of their orderliness but we’re happy to return to our own loose culture.

Defending Defiance

Sometimes breaking the rules or challenging norms is necessary and important for change. For example, Rosa Parks’ refusal to give up her seat on a Montgomery. Alabama bus in 1955 is cited as a pivotal incident in U.S. history. This simple act of defiance (rule-breaking) set the stage for the bus boycott and the Civil Rights Movement.

More recently, women speaking their truth about sexual harassment and abuse set in motion the Me-Too Movement, which led to significant changes in how women are treated in the workplace (especially) and to the prosecution of high-profile offenders and two-bit abusers alike.

Justifying rule-breaking behaviors can be highly subjective, depending on one’s agenda. Viewing behavior through the lens of the Greater Good Theory (the greatest good for the greatest number) is a way to validate rule-breaking or rule adherence. The Greater Good Theory, sometimes referred to as utilitarianism, is especially relevant during a public health crisis. Standing up for injustices cannot be compared to the selfish defiance of getting in someone’s face, quite literally.

Rule Protesters

Perhaps you’ve seen or read about unhappy people in a few states protesting stay-at-home orders. They are congregating shoulder-to-shoulder defying social distancing. By definition, rule breaking is anti-social behavior – be it of the aggressive or non-aggressive variety. These protesters can be classified as anti-social, anti-social-distancing dissenters.

The months ahead will be hard for the vast majority of us on this planet on many levels. The rule breakers will be more emboldened. One question to ask yourself when you’re tempted to break a rule is a simple question my father-in-law would pose to his children: What if everyone did what you’re doing?